Navigating Trauma and Healing: How My Personal Experience Shaped My Approach to Supporting Others
Two weeks postpartum with my second baby, life took an unexpected turn for me. I found myself being rushed to a Boston hospital, diagnosed with a vertebral artery dissection and a blood clot, all while still adjusting to the demands of being a new mom of two under two. This traumatic experience, marked by physical pain and emotional upheaval, impacted how I relate to and support others who are suffering.
The Pain of Being Vulnerable
In those early moments after my first artery dissection, I was extremely aware of my vulnerability. I was still experiencing heavy postpartum bleeding. I was also heavily medicated due to the neck pain, and I needed to wear a neck brace. I found myself caught between two worlds: a postpartum patient on a stroke unit, sharing a room with an elderly woman who was clearly in distress and did not speak English. We were both in our most vulnerable moments, at different stages in our lives, each struggling to find compassionate help and support.
My entire body was in shock. I desperately needed to pump, but I had to almost beg the nurses to bring a pump from the labor and delivery floor. When the pump finally arrived, I tearfully struggled to position it properly because I couldn’t move my neck. I’ll never forget the nurse’s comment that she didn’t know how to use the pump, leaving me to navigate this experience alone, with no family visitors allowed due to the height of the COVID pandemic.
The hospital environment, which is meant to offer healing, often felt cold and impersonal. I struggled with the physical pain of my condition and the emotional strain of being separated from my newborn daughter and 16-month-old son. The lack of empathetic communication and compassionate care made an already difficult situation even more challenging.
This intense period of suffering taught me invaluable lessons about the importance of acknowledging pain and providing genuine support:
1. Acknowledge Their Pain: One of the most profound realizations from my experience is the necessity of recognizing and validating the pain of others. When I was in the hospital, my physical and emotional suffering often felt minimized or overlooked. I learned firsthand that acknowledging someone's pain, without judgment or dismissal, is crucial in providing effective support.
2. Communication: Effective communication is essential, especially during moments of distress. In my vulnerable state, clear and compassionate communication from caregivers could have alleviated much of my anxiety. Now, I strive to ensure that those I support feel heard and understood, fostering an environment of trust and openness.
3. Care: Genuine care goes beyond medical treatment; it encompasses emotional support and reassurance. During my hospitalizations, I yearned for more personalized care and attention. This experience has deepened my commitment to offering holistic care that addresses both physical and emotional needs.
4. Time: Time can be one of the most precious gifts we offer to those in distress. In the whirlwind of medical testing and hospital routines, I often felt rushed and neglected. I now recognize the importance of spending quality time with individuals who are suffering, allowing them to feel valued and supported.
5. Eye Contact: Eye contact may seem like a small gesture, but it can have a such a huge impact. In my most vulnerable moments, the lack of eye contact and deep personal connection often left me feeling isolated. I now understand how meaningful this simple act can be in conveying empathy and connection.
6. Compassion: Compassion involves more than just sympathy; it requires a deep, heartfelt understanding of another's experience. The absence of compassion during my first hospital stay highlighted its critical role in the healing process. I strive to approach every interaction with genuine compassion, recognizing the unique challenges each person faces.
Moving Forward with Empathy
My traumatic experience in the hospital profoundly shaped my approach to supporting others. It reinforced the importance of treating people with dignity, empathy, and respect. Each interaction with those who are suffering is an opportunity to offer the care and understanding that I once longed for.
By acknowledging pain, fostering open communication, providing genuine care, investing time, maintaining eye contact, and extending compassion, I aim to create a supportive environment that reflects the lessons learned from my own journey. In doing so, I hope to offer a beacon of hope and healing to those navigating their own challenging paths.
Navigating trauma has equipped me with a deeper understanding of the human experience, and it is through this lens that I strive to make a positive difference in the lives of those I support.
